I saw the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy this morning. The main theme was finding the moment when you realize you are a doctor. Well, obviously I'm not in med school, but I wonder if there is a moment when you realize you're an adult. I don't think the whole adult thing is that clear, and maybe the one moment when you know you're a doctor is not any clearer. Honestly, I wouldn't know, I've done neither that I truly know of, but I think I'm taking steps towards the latter.
For how many ever years I've had this blog, I've ranted on about change and while some things may have changed, majority of my attempts have failed. I don't think that I've now magically discovered a way to change all the aspects I would like to improve in my life, but needless to say, I definitely have made some progress. And while this may seem like no progress at all, what I have discovered is what I want to change. The more important part is I can establish more or less checkpoints rather than just aiming for the large idea all at once. Perhaps that's why I failed before, I didn't know how to moderate. The going got tough and I gave up and became content with myself.
Another important idea. Being content with who you are can be devastating. I know that you have to find respect and love for yourself, but sitting on that alone is not beneficial. There is always something for us to work on, and while everyone's ideals are different, I'm sure there is always something that we want for ourselves whether we want to make an effort to get there or not. My question is why not? Why are we at a stand still? Demand more for yourself. Be true to your aspirations.
I know my entries are always a little lengthy, but if you do read this, I hope something calls out to you. While this may be a little late, I am no longer closing myself to opinions as of this new year. Comments are open indefinitely.
-k.dO
Wisdom for the Wayward.
"To conquer oneself is a greater task than conquering others." --Buddha.
So I ordered a TI-89 Titanium on Saturday from Amazon and I was silly and did not check the prices on e-bay and realize I probably could have gotten it on E-bay for $20 dollars cheaper. I sent myself into shock for a second there because I thought I ordered just the TI-89. I don't exactly know how to use those, nor do I want one. But due to some twist of fate I was much more competent when I ordered the calculator than I am now, looking back.
All Calculator talk aside, I went to visit my teachers today. I don't exactly know how to explain it, but I seem to get along with teachers so much better than I get along with my own peers. I can sit for hours and talk to my teachers and after about an hour with most of my peers, I'm ready to leave. I'm not sure what that says about me, but it does make me feel better about all of the recent events in my life. Falling out of relationships aren't so bad to me now that I think about it. Maybe those people just weren't meant to be in my life. So, this new year, I'm going to stop trying to be friends with people who weren't meant for me. I am tired of stressing over pleasing those around me. If someone appreciates me for me, no matter what age that person might be, than that's all I need. To all others. I bid you farewell because I don't need your hateful words and the drama that you carry with you. Grow up.
